Letting Go is Moving Forward…Moving Forward is Letting Go

Today, my morning reading was focused on the idea that we create recurring situations and issues in our lives – or the recurrence based on inner self issues that are left unattended. When there is a recurring issue in my life that I find myself in, I wonder why that is? Is there a theme? Is there an intention? I don’t think I intentionally draw in negative situations repeatedly. But the author made some interesting points that caused me 1 - to ponder my own life and 2 - to feel strongly enough about it as to share it with you. The author speaks of his dominant and critical mother, and the sequential, frequent occurrences in his life of experiencing dominant and critical people.

This really resonated with me – my own history of dominant and critical people in my life. But, at the real heart of the issue (for beneath every headache is heartache), I am certainly dominant and critical within myself. And, that idea of seeking approval from others to interact with criticism has certainly been a life pattern that I have had to, with intention, separate my inner self from what became a natural habit. So as I think about my own patterns and self-talk, in the context of seeking approval, I’m fascinated by the concept that I could actually be in a pattern of seeking approval from myself. I guess I haven’t ever thought about it in these words. I teach emotional intelligence and positive energy is always an intentional focus for me. Ok, well almost always an intention… I’ve worked on confidence, improving my self-esteem, recognizing I have value, and appreciating my strengths and style. I work at being grateful for those skills and seek to use them in ways that serve me well and benefit others.

I hadn’t, however, thought about it in terms of recurring patterns that are forged within me – at my heart center. I must be able to problem-solve the real issue—not the surface issue. To continue to remember that I am valuable and important. I am intentional, not an accident , and I must be kind to my inner self. Then, I change the recurring relationships to break old, unseen habits.

Isn’t it empowering to realize we can exercise such power over ourselves!?!

My daughter has a 12 year old Shitzu Datsun mix dog who loves bones—all kinds of bones. Steak bones, Milk bones, rawhides, chew sticks. But he doesn’t actually chew them much…he buries them. He always has buried them anywhere he can: in the landscaping, the flower beds, the flower pots, and the couch cushions if it’s the last resort.

When I sold our 4.5 acre property, he was 9 years old and had only lived in that house. As we began packing the house, he sensed something major and different was happening. In the past, if we packed a suitcase, he got nervous…but this was different. He started, very methodically, digging up bones from my vast landscaping, flower beds and pots. The best I could tell, he sensed we were leaving and not coming back and he went to work. It was as if he was preparing for his future by gathering ‘his past’ to take with him. He uncovered years worth of bones—and brought them all inside. I watched in fascination at his ability to know right where they were and his driving need to save and protect the old, even as he had no idea of what his future held.

Don’t we do that too? We hold on tight to old patterns, old relationships and issues that recur. Even if they are decaying, old, not good for us...we still hold on. The familiar, even in its pain, is what we know. But when we look the old in the eyes, embrace our own inner self, know our truth, then we put it where it belongs…in the past… and we can move to a better future. Even in the unknown future, there is possibility and positivity if we choose it.

Don’t hold onto the old when it doesn’t serve you well.

For more conversation about letting go and moving forward in your own power, contact Tammy today for your free consultation!