What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid? -- 3 Tips on Overcoming Your Fears

What would you do if you weren't afraid? This quote from ‘Who Moved My Cheese’, by Spencer Johnson, M.D., changed my life. Literally…it really changed my life when I read it. If you haven’t read this short story, and if you ever experience fear, I encourage you to read it – it is an amazing short story of 4 fictional characters that are faced with uncertainty, and they respond in 4 very different ways.

I think the world prepares us for future situations. I don’t believe in coincidences, and this is a great example. As I’m on this journey of Knowing Myself…I recognize the fears that were so ingrained in my psyche from childhood. I was afraid a lot…and of so many things…that I let the fears override my choices.

So…one fine day in 2009 I decided to leave my job. I had probably needed to leave it for a long time but staying was the safe choice. That quote popped into my mind and when I got home that day I typed it and stuck it on the wall of my office…and my bathroom mirror…and put it on a post-it on my car dashboard. I smile as I think of it now…but I was so terrified then! I didn’t see the potential or the possibilities for this blinding fear of change.

Tip 1. Recognize the fear for what it really represents. That day I began to analyze the fear for what it really represented. That, I think, is the first really important step…where did the fear come from? What did it represent? As I dug deep, I realized that I held the idea of accountability so strong that I couldn’t imagine myself not being responsible … responsible financially, responsible to not let others down, responsible to succeed. Don’t we have this ability to blow up situations by spinning ourselves down with self-talk. Hmmm…

Tip 2. Consider and plan for the worst-case scenario. Generally, when I consider the worst situation that might occur, I could figure out a path to deal with it. Alternatively, I create a scenario where the worst can not happen.

Tip 3. Test the waters without blinders on. We have so many alternatives that people do not consider. We put restrictions on ourselves; we let others put restrictions on us. Why?

Nelson Mandella quoted Marianne Williamson in his 1994 inaugural speech, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Who are you not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? What gives you the permission to play small. Wow – this really hit me like a ton of bricks. I played small a lot in my life. Actually, I caught myself playing small last month in a meeting with someone that I still allowed to have power over me. Ugh. Well, at least I realized it and as I move forward I will attempt not to allow it next time.

I am fascinated by the change in my life to look at fear differently. Today, I still fear many things—rejection, not being loved, being embarrassed…BUT…I know that life is a series of dots that are connected. I can only see how they connect when I look backwards. I do not know what is ahead…but I know that I have the ability to analyze, to consider, to plan, to take risks, to listen to my intuition, and to choose.

You have choices. Our choices may not be the same…but choices exist. Today when I think about ‘What would I do if I weren’t afraid?’ I think of it in terms of opportunities that I might miss if I let fear stand in my way…and I guess I’m just too stubborn to let that elusive ‘feeling’ be in the way of the greatness that is in my future.

What will you do with your fear?

Risk more than others think is safe

Care more than others think is wise

Dream more than others think is practical

Expect more than others think is possible

- Claude Thomas Bissell